Beauty can often be a deceptive perception. Beauty infers an innocence and safety which may not always be an accurate reflection. It causes us to let our guard down and become more blasé with our surroundings, sometimes with devastating consequences.
Belladonna, or simply Bella to those she chose to let close to her, was a prime example of this. Blessed with a beauty most only dream of, framed with luxuriously flowing tresses. A curvaceous figure with a near perfect hourglass completed a textbook example of the feminine physique.
However, not all imperfections are immediately detectable, and multiple flaws lurked just under the surface, imperceptible to the eye, but, given enough time and interaction, become glaringly obvious. Even a short time spent with Bella allowed one to detect a narcissism and sense of entitlement stemming from her physical appearance.
Entry to her friendship came at a cost. It was a surrender to the will of the group and complete adherence to their decisions. The group decision was a thinly veiled way of Bella asserting her will using her ‘inner circle’ to crush any attempt at disagreement with her whims and flights of fancy.
Those in her inner circle regularly found themselves being played off each other to manipulate the other and discredit their viewpoints before finding themselves being cast adrift, alienated from their peers, subjugated to the thrall of Belladonna. After a matter of time, there was no purpose to them being in Bella’s sphere of influence, and they found themselves discarded, friendless and with no self worth.
Eventually, Bella only had 1 friend left in the Dell that could tolerate her, so became reliant on the egotistical whims of Narcissa and her similarly shrunken social sphere suitably stifled both the self-absorbed fairies abilities to manipulate their way to what they want.
For you see the problem with being surrounded by only likeminded people is that they use all the same techniques you do, and Bella soon discovered that not only was Narcissa as vain as she, she was equally skilled in the manipulation tactics that had worked so successfully on her previous social circle.
She simultaneously discovered trust is the hardest thing to regain once lost.
An apologetic Belladonna’s attempts to regain this was met with nothing but mistrust and apprehension, as previously fake apologies had been used to manipulate the recipient to allow for another betrayal.
Sat alone in the darkness of the village at night, Bella continued her spiral. Unable to sleep while her brain screamed at her, she thought about her actions, her sharp nails biting into the flesh of her arm until ruby red droplets appeared, the pain momentarily distracting her conscious thoughts about her actions.
Pain took her mind off her misery, but like all things, she needed more to take her mind away from the psychological pain she was in.
Her body became scarred and disfigured by her actions.
As time passed, new areas became a focus to deliver fresh distraction to the background depression she felt, eventually rendering her formerly lithe, beautiful frame to a scarred shell and while she tried to disguise the disfigurement behind sleeves and fabric, her once proud confidence, now replaced by persistent feelings of shame and self-loathing. Longer articles of clothing hid the majority of her pain from the outside world – not that she had any friends to notice. Narcissa’s continued needling also provided a similar mental effect, albeit one she felt she deserved and was perceived as atonement for her past transgressions.
On a fresh summer’s day, the golden sunshine beating down on the Dell ensured that all the faeries were obliged to wear cooler clothing. Several friends met for a picnic on the village green. Uninvited and unwilling to face the rejection of being shunned publicly by society, Bella decided to go to the stream to be alone.
As tears welled up in her eyes, and thoughts of ending her pain were bubbling to the surface, she removed her outer layers and stepped into the stream, the cold water water shocking her skin into life with its icy electricity sending rapidly diminishing shocks of pain through her body.
She lay back in the water, the contrast of the warmth of the midday sun beating down on her front with the frigid chill of the water on her back.
As she contemplated simply allowing herself to drift away, her eyes were distracted by a hint of movement, somewhere in the edge of her peripheral vision. She sat up, her hands instinctively trying to hide her scars, quickly realising the futility in the deed.
As her eyes began to adapt to the change in light, she noticed something she hadn’t seen previously. Perched high in the shade of the oak tree on the far side of the river, sheltering from the midday sun was Willow. Any hope Bella retained that she hadn’t noticed her was quickly dispelled as she flew down from her branch to the opposite side, right beside her. Their eyes met briefly, Willow’s eyes darting around and surveying the tapestry of self-inflicted marks over the faerie in front of her.
A glistening of tears was the last thing Bella saw before the little faerie threw her arms around her, pulling her close in a tight embrace. Although she resisted initially, there was little Bella could do but succumb to the warm tears flowing down her face and the sobs escaping her throat.
They stood for what seemed like an eternity before she relaxed her grip, allowing Bella to move slightly before whispering the words that simply broke the resistance and caused a fresh outbreak of tears.
‘I forgive you’.
Acceptance doesn’t come easy. It comes with scars that cannot be healed but which serve as a reminder of what has gone before, be they physical or mental. The past can never be erased and Bella still had to live with her pain and bouts of guilt until the end of her days, but the knowledge that if she continued to show she was no longer the self-absorbed narcissist she was previously, the opinions others held could be gradually eroded